Hi everyone...I’ve just not been in the mindset to write much lately...however...I couldn’t resist this opportunity today... to say a little word or two about the
Texas Rangers Historical Victory last night.... over the New York Yankees in Arlington, Tx...
On a scale of 1 to 10...this was off the scale for Texans.... I also couldn’t help but get tears in my eyes...watching Nolan Ryan accept the American League championship trophy, as president of the Team... after they reached the World Series...for the first time in their Baseball Franchise history.......
For Texas, as a whole... and for the residents of the Dallas/Ft Worth Metroplex (psst...I lived in Dallas for 6yrs)..........and for anyone in the world anywhere....who loves Texas... this was a banner or red letter day for them... and I think in their hearts...it rose up to the equivalent level of a Dallas Cowboy Super Bowl victory.....
Those who witnessed the event.. surely witnessed it with pride...and with that pride...came a tinge of redemption value...that these precious moments hold for Texans on which they thrive (there is always a little taint in their hearts about JFK in Dallas)...for history has been cruel to them......but the sweetness that they must feel in this moment has to come as a great relief... and I’m sure that they could just cry their eyes out today, as well, out of joy and gratefulness...no matter what the result in the World Series...whether it be the Phillies or the Giants...They made it to the Big Dance of America’s Pastime...!!!
They were not alone in sharing this joy. You see.... for many New York Met fans, like myself... we too... probably shed a tear with them...having grown up remembering the 1969 “Miracle” Mets, and the role, a wild throwing, young and fiery 22 year old, Nolan Ryan, played in their incredible unexpected success... that magical year.......long before he threw for over 5,000 strikeouts....en route to his enshrinement in the Baseball Hall of fame in Cooperstown, NY....
Now...of course.... if the Horned Frogs of TCU...in Ft Worth... should ever win the College football National championship...it would be absolute bedlam in the Streets...
“Deep in the heart of Texas”.... rayray
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
A Different kind of Never Never land.....
Many of us have grown up listening to and appreciating fairy tales......
One of my favorites... originates in the 1904.. J.M. Barrie classic tale of
Peter Pan. The boy...who won’t grow up....and travels to the Utopian
world of NeverNever land... the place in the fairy tale.
Recently, however, I have realized that many people actually live there:
that....this is not a make believe place in a fairy tale, but a very real
place ...and I am not referring to the...Late Michael Jackson’s California
compound.
Actually...all of us live there... to a certain degree, but perhaps... we
don’t realize it. We live there every time we say a sentence or something
that begins with the words....“I would never”....and we all do it...
Sometimes we verbalize it and other times we just think it to
ourselves..for many of us...this represents a boundary we won’t
cross or a moral value we must live by or a chance we won’t take..or a
new thought direction we won’t consider..
God Forbid...changing a political party...or attending a tea party...oh..that’s Alice in Wonderland.. on magic pills............
It’s a belief structure that internally guides us, sometimes unconsciously
and when we utter it...we are actually demonstrating that we do,in fact,
live, at times, in NeverNever land.....but where is it leading?...Do we really ever examine its root cause or challenge it...or even ask our self why we believe this or that?..
I was reminded of this reality recently... while out on a date with a
woman from NJ, who spends a lot of time in South Florida.
As we got to talking, she started to tell me the things she would never do...it almost became a laundry list...
She said...
I would never...go out with someone who isn’t Jewish.
I would never go out with someone Latino
I would never date someone Black.
I would never date someone who has a cat”
.....and this continued for a few more choice reasons...
I sat back and I began to realize that.... I could never be with her... or even date her again....(see..I said it too...shame on me)......... Because she has way too many Never’s in her life.....imagine if I had asked her if she wanted to have sex with me on the first date?.. Probably never happen...
It’s serious and it’s an epidemic in so many facets of our life...that
sometimes we have to take stock in what we are actually saying never
to.... and maybe take a pause to consider the positive aspects in
actually reconsidering our positions...in so many areas...whether it be
in relationships, or business...or our political beliefs...or wherever our
own nevers are leading us.....or have led us...
Oh....and... I figured out ....the best way out of NeverNever land!!!...
All you have to do is to click your heels together and say....
I would.....3 times.....rayray
One of my favorites... originates in the 1904.. J.M. Barrie classic tale of
Peter Pan. The boy...who won’t grow up....and travels to the Utopian
world of NeverNever land... the place in the fairy tale.
Recently, however, I have realized that many people actually live there:
that....this is not a make believe place in a fairy tale, but a very real
place ...and I am not referring to the...Late Michael Jackson’s California
compound.
Actually...all of us live there... to a certain degree, but perhaps... we
don’t realize it. We live there every time we say a sentence or something
that begins with the words....“I would never”....and we all do it...
Sometimes we verbalize it and other times we just think it to
ourselves..for many of us...this represents a boundary we won’t
cross or a moral value we must live by or a chance we won’t take..or a
new thought direction we won’t consider..
God Forbid...changing a political party...or attending a tea party...oh..that’s Alice in Wonderland.. on magic pills............
It’s a belief structure that internally guides us, sometimes unconsciously
and when we utter it...we are actually demonstrating that we do,in fact,
live, at times, in NeverNever land.....but where is it leading?...Do we really ever examine its root cause or challenge it...or even ask our self why we believe this or that?..
I was reminded of this reality recently... while out on a date with a
woman from NJ, who spends a lot of time in South Florida.
As we got to talking, she started to tell me the things she would never do...it almost became a laundry list...
She said...
I would never...go out with someone who isn’t Jewish.
I would never go out with someone Latino
I would never date someone Black.
I would never date someone who has a cat”
.....and this continued for a few more choice reasons...
I sat back and I began to realize that.... I could never be with her... or even date her again....(see..I said it too...shame on me)......... Because she has way too many Never’s in her life.....imagine if I had asked her if she wanted to have sex with me on the first date?.. Probably never happen...
It’s serious and it’s an epidemic in so many facets of our life...that
sometimes we have to take stock in what we are actually saying never
to.... and maybe take a pause to consider the positive aspects in
actually reconsidering our positions...in so many areas...whether it be
in relationships, or business...or our political beliefs...or wherever our
own nevers are leading us.....or have led us...
Oh....and... I figured out ....the best way out of NeverNever land!!!...
All you have to do is to click your heels together and say....
I would.....3 times.....rayray
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Brother... can u spare a dime?
I don’t know about you....but I have always had a rough time saying no to a beggar on the street, asking for some spare change....still do....
I can remember at times in my life feeling indignant...and other times feeling a sense of pity....to other times...feeling frightened by having someone, uncleanly approach me...on the street...to other times in my own life searching for a dime myself...even if it was between pay periods...
I suppose there is a deep rooted belief that exists...that being penniless equals being dirty...and to avoid people “like that”.
Times are tough for many, right now...and shortly... will be getting worse...normal people are falling on hard times...people everywhere will soon become displaced.
If you are fortunate enough to have done well financially, then you will be more insulated, to a large degree... to what is about to unfold in our country...cohabitation will become common, children will be seeking shelter from their aging parents.. families will be living together in larger numbers.....street life will become more commonplace...and the beggar, the one we may have avoided at all cost, in the past.....will soon start to resemble a person we know.
The Great Depression...triggered by the collapse of the financial markets in 1929.....affected many ordinary lives...and led to a free fall into unemployment....hunger and poverty......yet our collective memories sometimes fall short of the reality...of the “2nd coming” of a great depression...which is upon us....the markers are lighting up... like when they look at the early stages of cancer..
I don’t know what will be....or what I can do personally...to help others in need.....but I do know.....that this is not the time to judge harshly those deeply affected by these economic times...and to call on our elected leaders to put people as our top priority...jobs and people.....
Sometimes the written word from the past can allow us to see more clearly what is before us today....old words ...new meanings...here is a famous song from the Great Depression......
"Brother, Can You Spare a Dime" lyrics by Yip Harburg, music by Jay Gorney (1931)
They used to tell me I was building a dream, and so I followed the mob,
When there was earth to plow, or guns to bear, I was always there right on the job.
They used to tell me I was building a dream, with peace and glory ahead,
Why should I be standing in line, just waiting for bread?
Once I built a railroad, I made it run, made it race against time.
Once I built a railroad; now it's done. Brother, can you spare a dime?
Once I built a tower, up to the sun, brick, and rivet, and lime;
Once I built a tower, now it's done. Brother, can you spare a dime?
Once in khaki suits, gee we looked swell,
Full of that Yankee Doodly Dum,
Half a million boots went slogging through Hell,
And I was the kid with the drum!
Say, don't you remember, they called me Al; it was Al all the time.
Why don't you remember, I'm your pal? Buddy, can you spare a dime?
Once in khaki suits, gee we looked swell,
Full of that Yankee Doodly Dum,
Half a million boots went slogging through Hell,
And I was the kid with the drum!
Say, don't you remember, they called me Al; it was Al all the time.
Say, don't you remember, I'm your pal? Buddy, can you spare a dime?
....rayray
I can remember at times in my life feeling indignant...and other times feeling a sense of pity....to other times...feeling frightened by having someone, uncleanly approach me...on the street...to other times in my own life searching for a dime myself...even if it was between pay periods...
I suppose there is a deep rooted belief that exists...that being penniless equals being dirty...and to avoid people “like that”.
Times are tough for many, right now...and shortly... will be getting worse...normal people are falling on hard times...people everywhere will soon become displaced.
If you are fortunate enough to have done well financially, then you will be more insulated, to a large degree... to what is about to unfold in our country...cohabitation will become common, children will be seeking shelter from their aging parents.. families will be living together in larger numbers.....street life will become more commonplace...and the beggar, the one we may have avoided at all cost, in the past.....will soon start to resemble a person we know.
The Great Depression...triggered by the collapse of the financial markets in 1929.....affected many ordinary lives...and led to a free fall into unemployment....hunger and poverty......yet our collective memories sometimes fall short of the reality...of the “2nd coming” of a great depression...which is upon us....the markers are lighting up... like when they look at the early stages of cancer..
I don’t know what will be....or what I can do personally...to help others in need.....but I do know.....that this is not the time to judge harshly those deeply affected by these economic times...and to call on our elected leaders to put people as our top priority...jobs and people.....
Sometimes the written word from the past can allow us to see more clearly what is before us today....old words ...new meanings...here is a famous song from the Great Depression......
"Brother, Can You Spare a Dime" lyrics by Yip Harburg, music by Jay Gorney (1931)
They used to tell me I was building a dream, and so I followed the mob,
When there was earth to plow, or guns to bear, I was always there right on the job.
They used to tell me I was building a dream, with peace and glory ahead,
Why should I be standing in line, just waiting for bread?
Once I built a railroad, I made it run, made it race against time.
Once I built a railroad; now it's done. Brother, can you spare a dime?
Once I built a tower, up to the sun, brick, and rivet, and lime;
Once I built a tower, now it's done. Brother, can you spare a dime?
Once in khaki suits, gee we looked swell,
Full of that Yankee Doodly Dum,
Half a million boots went slogging through Hell,
And I was the kid with the drum!
Say, don't you remember, they called me Al; it was Al all the time.
Why don't you remember, I'm your pal? Buddy, can you spare a dime?
Once in khaki suits, gee we looked swell,
Full of that Yankee Doodly Dum,
Half a million boots went slogging through Hell,
And I was the kid with the drum!
Say, don't you remember, they called me Al; it was Al all the time.
Say, don't you remember, I'm your pal? Buddy, can you spare a dime?
....rayray
Saturday, August 28, 2010
I loved Snow days...didn’t you?
I am sure.... that many of us would attest to the fact, if you grew up in a northern winter Snow State...that one of your most ecstatic memories....was when you heard on your Radio... that your School District was Closed..... Due to a winter snow storm...You had a SNOW DAY.....!!!
Man...That was like music to your ears...we could get to do all the things you wanted to do... in the snow....without going to school!!!...that meant sledding, skating...skiing maybe...not me... but also...snowball fights...making money by digging people out of snow drifts...etc..
It was a day to PLAY....no responsibilities, no one could drive.....as long as there was heat and hot chocolate...life was good!!
What occurred to me...now that I live in Florida...is that I miss that...!! I miss those, gifts of nature.....spontaneous day off.
However, I have gotten a reprieve.....as I sat here about an hour or so ago...and I felt a little brownout...and heard a pop in the neighborhood.
It was a Comcast Transformer that had blown...and everything in our Entire Zip code was offline..,...no internet , no cable , no digital phone....guess what...I HAD AN INTERNET DAY OFF!!!... and...it felt as good as a SNOW DAY....
Of course.....once I got over the shock that I would have no email, no Facebook....no communication over the internet...everything had come to a halt... technologically speaking....
.
NOW what do you do when you have an INTERNET DAY OFF?..
Well...we should play just like we did when we were kids......go shopping, do the things we would ordinarily not be able to do because the internet is down.....visit friends.. go walking. .swim...drive around town... just like the weekend...this is awesome...!!!
Imagine... if Business did the same?.... if you are employed....you should get a message to your cell phone that the Internet is down... and you don’t have to report to work!!!..... It will become a new item in your benefit package....that you are entitled to several paid “Internet is down” days off...
So...go make the most of it...while the internet is down and enjoy it....it will be coming back online soon....too soon.
Oh btw... I could equally enjoy a CELL PHONE day off....but no way....could I handle a TEXTING DAY OFF....that would just cripple me......
If that happens....I’ll need a real vacation......rayray
Man...That was like music to your ears...we could get to do all the things you wanted to do... in the snow....without going to school!!!...that meant sledding, skating...skiing maybe...not me... but also...snowball fights...making money by digging people out of snow drifts...etc..
It was a day to PLAY....no responsibilities, no one could drive.....as long as there was heat and hot chocolate...life was good!!
What occurred to me...now that I live in Florida...is that I miss that...!! I miss those, gifts of nature.....spontaneous day off.
However, I have gotten a reprieve.....as I sat here about an hour or so ago...and I felt a little brownout...and heard a pop in the neighborhood.
It was a Comcast Transformer that had blown...and everything in our Entire Zip code was offline..,...no internet , no cable , no digital phone....guess what...I HAD AN INTERNET DAY OFF!!!... and...it felt as good as a SNOW DAY....
Of course.....once I got over the shock that I would have no email, no Facebook....no communication over the internet...everything had come to a halt... technologically speaking....
.
NOW what do you do when you have an INTERNET DAY OFF?..
Well...we should play just like we did when we were kids......go shopping, do the things we would ordinarily not be able to do because the internet is down.....visit friends.. go walking. .swim...drive around town... just like the weekend...this is awesome...!!!
Imagine... if Business did the same?.... if you are employed....you should get a message to your cell phone that the Internet is down... and you don’t have to report to work!!!..... It will become a new item in your benefit package....that you are entitled to several paid “Internet is down” days off...
So...go make the most of it...while the internet is down and enjoy it....it will be coming back online soon....too soon.
Oh btw... I could equally enjoy a CELL PHONE day off....but no way....could I handle a TEXTING DAY OFF....that would just cripple me......
If that happens....I’ll need a real vacation......rayray
Friday, August 27, 2010
The Art of Rejection
I was thinking... that it’s just as easy for a guy... to ask out a gorgeous women on a date than a homely looking one.... it’s the answer we fear hearing... that holds us back from asking the question. Homely... might say yes and the gorgeous one might say no....lol.....we seldom think that homely... will say no... and the gorgeous one might say yes...so because of this dilemma ...we don’t ask either one.....out of fear.
Imagine how we might feel if both said no...or... both said.... it’s a definite maybe...we just hung ourselves out on a clothes line to dry....lol..
The truth is...for me.....that rejection...... is nothing more than a brick wall that we built up so sturdy in front of us... for most of our lives....never realizing that.. it was really as light as a feather. ....easily whisked out of our way...if we chose to....in stride...
We seldom understand that rejection...doesn’t have to be taken so personally...and to realize that it’s simply our individual preferences.... that influence our inquisitive nature about someone we meet or would like to meet or would like to engage in conversation ..and.. we should not take it as a personal affront... when the person ignores, rejects or looks at us rather oddly....
For example... the other day.....I was on line, at the side checkout line at Walgreens, near the cosmetics area....when this very attractive middle aged woman... was on line in front of me...
She was laden with giant clunky jewelry and bracelets on each arm up to her elbows...including multiple rings on every finger and toe... and numerous chains hanging from her neck.. As he reached into her pocket to take out her charge card, she sounded like a ten piece marching band...
I paused... before I spoke...and said to her...excuse me....Airport security must be a bear...? to...which she replied... “I don’t fly”.....but if I’m lying in the street...my children will know that it’s me”To which I replied...I bet they like “heavy metal.. too”.
She sighed...turned her back to me and walked out......
This was just a humorous example of the Art of rejection...
Sometimes, what holds us back from engaging others in the world, might be the answer or reaction to our behavior ......which may remind us of other rejections we have store-housed in our brain....and it inhibits us from our natural inquisitiveness and our desire to approach people who interest us.....even if it’s just in that moment.. that they interest us...which should be enough.........
If all that holds us back... is in the answer we may hear...then the distress must center upon some pre conceived beliefs that are consciously or subconsciously in play....that wrangle us inside...and inhibit us...in our daily lives...
For me...that is..... the Athlete in me....says ...just go ahead and try...and then practice it....and for me.... that’s the best advice that I give myself...just go out and say or do something, and not worry about the answer or the consequence of the question or behavior...and have fun with it...without fear of the rejection... besides...it’s not you anyway.... that they are rejecting...it’s their own little inhibitor inside...which may be at work as well...
We are all affected by fear/Art of rejection...because we all want to be accepted by others...it is somehow built into our nature as humans to be social animals...that social/sexual trait ... I believe that it’s that trait which separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.....acceptance feels good and we learned that rejection feels bad.
I suspect that Males are very sensitive to rejection...not that women aren’t...but the sexuality leverage that females have over males is innate for a female... for them...they learn from a very early age to do the rejecting....but don’t like to be rejected either and probably don’t really like to abuse the power they have.... but they use it readily...especially if they don’t feel safe or if they get the wrong vibe..... rejecting...is the ultimate escape plan...always queued up behind the scenes...
Interestingly...I don’t really believe it takes females where they need to go anyway...but they do become expert rejecters.....on some psychic level it’s the ultimate equalizer of strength over a man. But just as we come to believe that being rejected feels bad, rejecting also doesn’t feel good either...even though it may appear that way.....
So the women walking out of Walgreens...may pause at some point in her life and say to herself..... “I must say...that guy was pretty funny at the checkout counter”....and perhaps can laugh it off too...but the moment had been lost...but maybe it could become.... a good lighten up reminder.... in her future...
The moral of the story here is.....maybe to lighten up period......have more fun...worry less about rejection...it is what it is...and....should not be taken personally....and in that lies the first lesson.....in the art of handling rejection....rayray
Imagine how we might feel if both said no...or... both said.... it’s a definite maybe...we just hung ourselves out on a clothes line to dry....lol..
The truth is...for me.....that rejection...... is nothing more than a brick wall that we built up so sturdy in front of us... for most of our lives....never realizing that.. it was really as light as a feather. ....easily whisked out of our way...if we chose to....in stride...
We seldom understand that rejection...doesn’t have to be taken so personally...and to realize that it’s simply our individual preferences.... that influence our inquisitive nature about someone we meet or would like to meet or would like to engage in conversation ..and.. we should not take it as a personal affront... when the person ignores, rejects or looks at us rather oddly....
For example... the other day.....I was on line, at the side checkout line at Walgreens, near the cosmetics area....when this very attractive middle aged woman... was on line in front of me...
She was laden with giant clunky jewelry and bracelets on each arm up to her elbows...including multiple rings on every finger and toe... and numerous chains hanging from her neck.. As he reached into her pocket to take out her charge card, she sounded like a ten piece marching band...
I paused... before I spoke...and said to her...excuse me....Airport security must be a bear...? to...which she replied... “I don’t fly”.....but if I’m lying in the street...my children will know that it’s me”To which I replied...I bet they like “heavy metal.. too”.
She sighed...turned her back to me and walked out......
This was just a humorous example of the Art of rejection...
Sometimes, what holds us back from engaging others in the world, might be the answer or reaction to our behavior ......which may remind us of other rejections we have store-housed in our brain....and it inhibits us from our natural inquisitiveness and our desire to approach people who interest us.....even if it’s just in that moment.. that they interest us...which should be enough.........
If all that holds us back... is in the answer we may hear...then the distress must center upon some pre conceived beliefs that are consciously or subconsciously in play....that wrangle us inside...and inhibit us...in our daily lives...
For me...that is..... the Athlete in me....says ...just go ahead and try...and then practice it....and for me.... that’s the best advice that I give myself...just go out and say or do something, and not worry about the answer or the consequence of the question or behavior...and have fun with it...without fear of the rejection... besides...it’s not you anyway.... that they are rejecting...it’s their own little inhibitor inside...which may be at work as well...
We are all affected by fear/Art of rejection...because we all want to be accepted by others...it is somehow built into our nature as humans to be social animals...that social/sexual trait ... I believe that it’s that trait which separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.....acceptance feels good and we learned that rejection feels bad.
I suspect that Males are very sensitive to rejection...not that women aren’t...but the sexuality leverage that females have over males is innate for a female... for them...they learn from a very early age to do the rejecting....but don’t like to be rejected either and probably don’t really like to abuse the power they have.... but they use it readily...especially if they don’t feel safe or if they get the wrong vibe..... rejecting...is the ultimate escape plan...always queued up behind the scenes...
Interestingly...I don’t really believe it takes females where they need to go anyway...but they do become expert rejecters.....on some psychic level it’s the ultimate equalizer of strength over a man. But just as we come to believe that being rejected feels bad, rejecting also doesn’t feel good either...even though it may appear that way.....
So the women walking out of Walgreens...may pause at some point in her life and say to herself..... “I must say...that guy was pretty funny at the checkout counter”....and perhaps can laugh it off too...but the moment had been lost...but maybe it could become.... a good lighten up reminder.... in her future...
The moral of the story here is.....maybe to lighten up period......have more fun...worry less about rejection...it is what it is...and....should not be taken personally....and in that lies the first lesson.....in the art of handling rejection....rayray
Monday, August 23, 2010
Flexibility...never bends you too far out of shape
One of my favorite Cartoon characters growing up was Gumby....
I loved that he could twist and be twisted into different shape but always returned to his natural state...it somehow taught me to be flexible in my approach to others...especially because of all the differences that exist between people..
And I think this is particularly true when it comes to relationships.....and while many people look for commonalities....they aren’t always the measure of what will make a relationship work.......
Some people say that you have to be on the same page....
I don’t think that 2 people will ever be entirely on the “same page”....that’s impossible... all relationships are extremely challenging because of this fact.
So what it tells me.....is that it’s crucially important to be more accepting of our differences ....than always focusing on our commonalities ...that’s the easy part...for example....
How hard is it..... when u both like watching the Dolphins... on Sunday?
Not very...in my opinion......but after the final whistle blows....we have to be much more flexible in areas of disagreement and core philosophies...which reflect deep tendencies and beliefs...which are so different in all of us..
If we are noticing....Our life continuously reveals the beliefs.... we have come to believe about ourselves... which may not really be us...but only reflect.....what we have come to believe reflects us at a moment in time..
It can be startling when all of a sudden we may not think a particular way any more... and a new self has emerged...that may not sit well with our “companion, spouse, partner, lover, friend, girlfriend, boyfriend..etc........and causes conflict in the core relationship...
Sometimes we can’t control the pace and timing or these internal revelations....large, medium or small....
How about the immediate reactions we feel...which cuts a new relationship short....Haven’t we all had 5 minute dates? Or not even returned an initial email from someone who shows interest in us.. online.?
So at the heart of it...it takes a lot of bending and being flexible to these.... sometimes small ...and sometimes large.... shifts in thinking, which can deeply disturb the root structure which has kept the relationship going.
And not underestimate the value of flexibility.... and not being afraid of changing yourself too... as we recognize it in ourselves.....and feeling safe in expressing it and speaking honestly to each other.... ALWAYS....regardless of the consequences...
Some people hit this wall early and for some... it hits late....it’s inevitable......
People say you have to be strong...... I see it a little differently....
Perhaps we have to be a little less strong and very flexible Just like GUMBY ...and become much more flexible as time goes by...or we are just headed into a wall... in all our relationships....rayray
I loved that he could twist and be twisted into different shape but always returned to his natural state...it somehow taught me to be flexible in my approach to others...especially because of all the differences that exist between people..
And I think this is particularly true when it comes to relationships.....and while many people look for commonalities....they aren’t always the measure of what will make a relationship work.......
Some people say that you have to be on the same page....
I don’t think that 2 people will ever be entirely on the “same page”....that’s impossible... all relationships are extremely challenging because of this fact.
So what it tells me.....is that it’s crucially important to be more accepting of our differences ....than always focusing on our commonalities ...that’s the easy part...for example....
How hard is it..... when u both like watching the Dolphins... on Sunday?
Not very...in my opinion......but after the final whistle blows....we have to be much more flexible in areas of disagreement and core philosophies...which reflect deep tendencies and beliefs...which are so different in all of us..
If we are noticing....Our life continuously reveals the beliefs.... we have come to believe about ourselves... which may not really be us...but only reflect.....what we have come to believe reflects us at a moment in time..
It can be startling when all of a sudden we may not think a particular way any more... and a new self has emerged...that may not sit well with our “companion, spouse, partner, lover, friend, girlfriend, boyfriend..etc........and causes conflict in the core relationship...
Sometimes we can’t control the pace and timing or these internal revelations....large, medium or small....
How about the immediate reactions we feel...which cuts a new relationship short....Haven’t we all had 5 minute dates? Or not even returned an initial email from someone who shows interest in us.. online.?
So at the heart of it...it takes a lot of bending and being flexible to these.... sometimes small ...and sometimes large.... shifts in thinking, which can deeply disturb the root structure which has kept the relationship going.
And not underestimate the value of flexibility.... and not being afraid of changing yourself too... as we recognize it in ourselves.....and feeling safe in expressing it and speaking honestly to each other.... ALWAYS....regardless of the consequences...
Some people hit this wall early and for some... it hits late....it’s inevitable......
People say you have to be strong...... I see it a little differently....
Perhaps we have to be a little less strong and very flexible Just like GUMBY ...and become much more flexible as time goes by...or we are just headed into a wall... in all our relationships....rayray
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
It doesn’t take much to make someone feel like a million bucks
When I think about respect... R E S P E C T....I just don’t think it gets much more basic than that...because respect...or giving someone your respect..... gets down to such a one on one.... gut level interaction...cut and dry...... that you either truly believe that others deserve to be respected as human beings and it becomes a way you live with others... or... you really don’t believe that others...or some others.... deserve it... so why give it?......
Anyone who couldn’t even give someone some basic level of respect... and feels justified in doing so...or....that they could care less....then.....what has happened..... is that a judgment has been made that they are above you... and you don’t deserve to be respected because you are below them.....or.... that they are just smarter and know better...
This is so typical of behavior in a society that separates themselves by class...the higher the class status the more respect that is given....and vice versa....imagine that...yet if you stripped a person down naked, you know...it’s possible that class...could not necessarily be distinguishable ....but I’m certain they would find a way to tell you, while naked, that they are better than you...
I suppose that there are different levels of respect...depending on the circumstance......but it’s all related...to accepting that others are as important... as you think you are...and have equal worth... and that all experience is equal.
Fundamental respect... simply acknowledges someone’s existence in the world... recognizing that they, like you, are alive...and have as much right to be, as you do..... race, color, shape, size, gender/orientation become irrelevant..... As if we were blind...
If we can’t even get past this one, we are so deep rooted in bigoted beliefs, which is simply....the lowest form of human ignorance.... that... it would probably take a personal or major human catastrophe to reset and/or.... to straighten out this thinking...
Right after the attack on the World Trade Center, on 9/11/01, when those buildings collapsed and the incinerated air covered people in soot and ash, and death... Making them resemble ghosts.... and... we saw first hand... the horror that befell our countrymen and women.... we were instantly galvanized and humbled.... by the futility of our human condition that sometimes...our life.... is out of our control...
That shock brought us together....it was more of a shock wave to realign each other to the reality that separation no longer made sense and we included each other...what happened on that fateful day forced us to afford each other.... fundamental respect.
9/11/01... Though desperately tragic... united our country....much like how the attack on Pearl Harbor woke us up from a deep slumber...collectively realizing... that engaging in a World War was the only way out. The time had finally come to have a singular purpose... and focus our resources, hearts and minds on a goal to save our existence, as we knew it.....and we did it...we executed our plan.
It carried us to great heights...It was an honor to be a soldier, a warrior....The military had meaning...and the United States entered into a “golden age”.....millions of babies were born. The country built itself up from the inside out....life was good and people were more balanced with each other... We respected each other on very human levels...
In time, of course, life after tragedy or significant change.... returns us to normalcy......
Many souls were indelibly impacted by the 9/11 catastrophe and it has caused positive change in their outlook...
Others.......however.... resumed where they left off, as if nothing had changed...and just settled back into old beliefs... the lessons learned and the sense of world community have worn off considerably...and quite rapidly....in the blink of an eye....
In just nine years since 9/11...commonality and momentum, as a nation, has been lost... Military spending and fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan continue at monumental levels never seen before in human history and are sucking the country dry of hope and its resources.... .... and sadly.... it has polarized us, as a nation.
Natural disasters such as Hurricane Katrina has had a devastating impact on New Orleans and its residents, the Tsunami in Indonesia, and recent earthquakes in Haiti and Chile are physical signs that the earth itself is venting.... the entire Pacific rim continues to shift the ground under our feet. People feel their life is set on sand...right now...in every respect....we are unsettled...
On a personal level....many people have had their world turned upside down ... unemployment is extreme....with the specter of job recovery highly remote....houses and cars have been lost or mortgage obligations have put individuals severely under water.....the financial crisis...has undermined our confidence in our institutions...our collective financial stability has been further split between the haves and have not’s. Bailout out has been for banks and insurance companies, but not for people....
I have never been much of a sailor, but I always thought that bailing out a boat was to avoid it sinking... It’s a temporary fix...you still gotta fix the boat??... yet.... we present a bailout as progress and as a solution..
All this has done... is to further confuse people and has gotten the rich richer and the poor poorer and going down faster.... however... the ultimate disrespect...comes...when we start blaming the unfortunate for their circumstance.....and basically say “fuck them”. Let them die.
Meanwhile, the United States, itself, pushes us deeper and deeper into incurring trillions of dollars of debt. Corporations have become wealthy while people are dying a slow death... The Parents have erred... and yet.... we spank the child...we are headed for a role reversal.....
These signs, since 9/11, do not bode well.....and are perilously pushing us closer to violence in the streets...that will make the civil rights movements of the 60’s, look like child’s play.
What do we teach our children about American and World history? How soon we forget... that our country was born out of revolution.
We are heading for the greatest class struggle ever seen and it’s not confined to our borders now.... It has become a world crisis.
“Those who do not remember the past will be condemned to repeat it”... loosely quoted by George Santayana.
These words are as true now as they have ever been...this is the ultimate undoing of society...when we no longer respect each human alive.....and forsake them in the name of progress and the accumulation of wealth and power.
Anyone who couldn’t even give someone some basic level of respect... and feels justified in doing so...or....that they could care less....then.....what has happened..... is that a judgment has been made that they are above you... and you don’t deserve to be respected because you are below them.....or.... that they are just smarter and know better...
This is so typical of behavior in a society that separates themselves by class...the higher the class status the more respect that is given....and vice versa....imagine that...yet if you stripped a person down naked, you know...it’s possible that class...could not necessarily be distinguishable ....but I’m certain they would find a way to tell you, while naked, that they are better than you...
I suppose that there are different levels of respect...depending on the circumstance......but it’s all related...to accepting that others are as important... as you think you are...and have equal worth... and that all experience is equal.
Fundamental respect... simply acknowledges someone’s existence in the world... recognizing that they, like you, are alive...and have as much right to be, as you do..... race, color, shape, size, gender/orientation become irrelevant..... As if we were blind...
If we can’t even get past this one, we are so deep rooted in bigoted beliefs, which is simply....the lowest form of human ignorance.... that... it would probably take a personal or major human catastrophe to reset and/or.... to straighten out this thinking...
Right after the attack on the World Trade Center, on 9/11/01, when those buildings collapsed and the incinerated air covered people in soot and ash, and death... Making them resemble ghosts.... and... we saw first hand... the horror that befell our countrymen and women.... we were instantly galvanized and humbled.... by the futility of our human condition that sometimes...our life.... is out of our control...
That shock brought us together....it was more of a shock wave to realign each other to the reality that separation no longer made sense and we included each other...what happened on that fateful day forced us to afford each other.... fundamental respect.
9/11/01... Though desperately tragic... united our country....much like how the attack on Pearl Harbor woke us up from a deep slumber...collectively realizing... that engaging in a World War was the only way out. The time had finally come to have a singular purpose... and focus our resources, hearts and minds on a goal to save our existence, as we knew it.....and we did it...we executed our plan.
It carried us to great heights...It was an honor to be a soldier, a warrior....The military had meaning...and the United States entered into a “golden age”.....millions of babies were born. The country built itself up from the inside out....life was good and people were more balanced with each other... We respected each other on very human levels...
In time, of course, life after tragedy or significant change.... returns us to normalcy......
Many souls were indelibly impacted by the 9/11 catastrophe and it has caused positive change in their outlook...
Others.......however.... resumed where they left off, as if nothing had changed...and just settled back into old beliefs... the lessons learned and the sense of world community have worn off considerably...and quite rapidly....in the blink of an eye....
In just nine years since 9/11...commonality and momentum, as a nation, has been lost... Military spending and fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan continue at monumental levels never seen before in human history and are sucking the country dry of hope and its resources.... .... and sadly.... it has polarized us, as a nation.
Natural disasters such as Hurricane Katrina has had a devastating impact on New Orleans and its residents, the Tsunami in Indonesia, and recent earthquakes in Haiti and Chile are physical signs that the earth itself is venting.... the entire Pacific rim continues to shift the ground under our feet. People feel their life is set on sand...right now...in every respect....we are unsettled...
On a personal level....many people have had their world turned upside down ... unemployment is extreme....with the specter of job recovery highly remote....houses and cars have been lost or mortgage obligations have put individuals severely under water.....the financial crisis...has undermined our confidence in our institutions...our collective financial stability has been further split between the haves and have not’s. Bailout out has been for banks and insurance companies, but not for people....
I have never been much of a sailor, but I always thought that bailing out a boat was to avoid it sinking... It’s a temporary fix...you still gotta fix the boat??... yet.... we present a bailout as progress and as a solution..
All this has done... is to further confuse people and has gotten the rich richer and the poor poorer and going down faster.... however... the ultimate disrespect...comes...when we start blaming the unfortunate for their circumstance.....and basically say “fuck them”. Let them die.
Meanwhile, the United States, itself, pushes us deeper and deeper into incurring trillions of dollars of debt. Corporations have become wealthy while people are dying a slow death... The Parents have erred... and yet.... we spank the child...we are headed for a role reversal.....
These signs, since 9/11, do not bode well.....and are perilously pushing us closer to violence in the streets...that will make the civil rights movements of the 60’s, look like child’s play.
What do we teach our children about American and World history? How soon we forget... that our country was born out of revolution.
We are heading for the greatest class struggle ever seen and it’s not confined to our borders now.... It has become a world crisis.
“Those who do not remember the past will be condemned to repeat it”... loosely quoted by George Santayana.
These words are as true now as they have ever been...this is the ultimate undoing of society...when we no longer respect each human alive.....and forsake them in the name of progress and the accumulation of wealth and power.
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