The Art of Rejection

I was thinking... that it’s just as easy for a guy... to ask out a gorgeous women on a date than a homely looking one.... it’s the answer we fear hearing... that holds us back from asking the question. Homely... might say yes and the gorgeous one might say no....lol.....we seldom think that homely... will say no... and the gorgeous one might say yes...so because of this dilemma ...we don’t ask either one.....out of fear.

Imagine how we might feel if both said no...or... both said.... it’s a definite maybe...we just hung ourselves out on a clothes line to dry....lol..

The truth is...for me.....that rejection...... is nothing more than a brick wall that we built up so sturdy in front of us... for most of our lives....never realizing that.. it was really as light as a feather. ....easily whisked out of our way...if we chose to....in stride...
We seldom understand that rejection...doesn’t have to be taken so personally...and to realize that it’s simply our individual preferences.... that influence our inquisitive nature about someone we meet or would like to meet or would like to engage in conversation ..and.. we should not take it as a personal affront... when the person ignores, rejects or looks at us rather oddly....

For example... the other day.....I was on line, at the side checkout line at Walgreens, near the cosmetics area....when this very attractive middle aged woman... was on line in front of me...
She was laden with giant clunky jewelry and bracelets on each arm up to her elbows...including multiple rings on every finger and toe... and numerous chains hanging from her neck.. As he reached into her pocket to take out her charge card, she sounded like a ten piece marching band...
I paused... before I spoke...and said to her...excuse me....Airport security must be a bear...? to...which she replied... “I don’t fly”.....but if I’m lying in the street...my children will know that it’s me”To which I replied...I bet they like “heavy metal.. too”.
She sighed...turned her back to me and walked out......

This was just a humorous example of the Art of rejection...

Sometimes, what holds us back from engaging others in the world, might be the answer or reaction to our behavior ......which may remind us of other rejections we have store-housed in our brain....and it inhibits us from our natural inquisitiveness and our desire to approach people who interest us.....even if it’s just in that moment.. that they interest us...which should be enough.........

If all that holds us back... is in the answer we may hear...then the distress must center upon some pre conceived beliefs that are consciously or subconsciously in play....that wrangle us inside...and inhibit us...in our daily lives...
For me...that is..... the Athlete in me....says ...just go ahead and try...and then practice it....and for me.... that’s the best advice that I give myself...just go out and say or do something, and not worry about the answer or the consequence of the question or behavior...and have fun with it...without fear of the rejection... besides...it’s not you anyway.... that they are rejecting...it’s their own little inhibitor inside...which may be at work as well...
We are all affected by fear/Art of rejection...because we all want to be accepted by others...it is somehow built into our nature as humans to be social animals...that social/sexual trait ... I believe that it’s that trait which separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.....acceptance feels good and we learned that rejection feels bad.
I suspect that Males are very sensitive to rejection...not that women aren’t...but the sexuality leverage that females have over males is innate for a female... for them...they learn from a very early age to do the rejecting....but don’t like to be rejected either and probably don’t really like to abuse the power they have.... but they use it readily...especially if they don’t feel safe or if they get the wrong vibe..... rejecting...is the ultimate escape plan...always queued up behind the scenes...
Interestingly...I don’t really believe it takes females where they need to go anyway...but they do become expert rejecters.....on some psychic level it’s the ultimate equalizer of strength over a man. But just as we come to believe that being rejected feels bad, rejecting also doesn’t feel good either...even though it may appear that way.....
So the women walking out of Walgreens...may pause at some point in her life and say to herself..... “I must say...that guy was pretty funny at the checkout counter”....and perhaps can laugh it off too...but the moment had been lost...but maybe it could become.... a good lighten up reminder.... in her future...

The moral of the story here is.....maybe to lighten up period......have more fun...worry less about rejection...it is what it is...and....should not be taken personally....and in that lies the first lesson.....in the art of handling rejection....rayray