‘It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much” ...Yogi Berra
This quote by Yogi Berra, the great Yankee catcher, while twistedly hilarious, is astoundingly simple and true.
We all need to talk...this is one of the greatest tools and advantages we have over the rest of the animal kingdom...to communicate with words to the world we live in... When we talk we are expressing ourselves, venting our thoughts, we are giving the world our words...from the simplest to the most worldly...and everything in between...we are on our miniature stage...wherever we are... to anyone we are with... when those words flow out of our mouth.
Talking ....takes a lot of work...the thought has to be clear...then expressed...from feeling to brain to mouth...there are a lot of mechanics involved...it’s not easy work...and the words don’t always get it quite right anyway ....
Talking is all about output...so we first have to understand that...when there is output...we are not able to absorb input...
Think of it.... like an on/off switch...it’s a physical impossibility for something to be on and off at the same time...
Conversations obviously involves others ... so...theoretically...a conversation should be a series of on’s and off’s.... when you talk you are on...and when the other person talks you are off...unfortunately, that’s not what usually happens....that... theoretical balance gets significantly disrupted...in so many different ways....
One way that a conversation will break down, is that... sometimes some people are not really ever in the off position....
Someone who incessantly talks and doesn’t even let the other person say a thing....is probably the most frustrating person to talk with...of all those which we encounter in life..
It’s so lopsided... that it’s actually not a conversation at all, but a monologue...this individual is probably oblivious to the concept of being in the off position...imagine living with this person... or working for this person... The flip side is the listener who won’t interrupt them...because they don’t want to offend the offender....these are conversation enablers.....yikes..... so there are over talkers and over listeners..
Another way a conversation breaks down...is more subtle... because, even when we think we are in the “off” position...we are really not quite off....this is because our brains are continuously feeding us thoughts during the time we are supposed to be off... listening”...
So even though, you may feel you are giving the other person their “on” position in the conversation, we may be already planning our next thought...we may be focused in another area....another image comes to us...and we are off somewhere else...thinking that we are listening...but we are not....we are far away...and we don’t even realize it...we missed it because we were not even there...unable to fully absorb the other persons thoughts...because we were never really off...
This is a major problem...not only in general conversations but in relationships, too....a feeling comes over us that the person is not there, they are not listening to us at all...and sometimes the conversation tells us that the person is not there at all...their response didn’t reflect the pace nor the texture of the conversation...
Listening while in the “off” position....or what I call...high level listening..... is really a very difficult process to master...because it involves discipline and requires practice...
How do we downplay or suppress the cascade of thoughts that enter our mind during a conversation?
The only time we can have true listening is when we are completely blank and open.... in order to fully absorb the other person in that moment...
When I was growing up...... in grade school.. in each room there were black slate chalkboards which we wrote on with powdery chalk.....the board had be washed clean at the end of the day...in fact... that might have been a classroom chore...back then....you might be assigned to clean the slate...those teachers were so smart.
Ideally, in order to truly listen.... we literally have to have a blank slate each time we are “off” and the other person is “on”....imagine that... if.... in between each interchange....every single time....we had to get an eraser...and clear the slate...
That’s not an easy task...but it’s critical in order to sustain a healthy conversation.
Clearing the slate, in itself is easier said than done.... because it also requires us to clear our heads of beliefs we hold....in order to be truly open during conversations....our heart has to be open along with our ears.. and not let the mind control the conversation..
When we bring judgement into the equation...the result is often skewed to our underlying beliefs..and we lost the essence of the conversation..
Some other breakdowns occur because we rush conversations rather than let them have a natural flow all by themselves...
I wonder what compels people to rush.... not only in delivery of information...but rushing the space between the responses......
This I call quick draw responses.....as if you are trying to gun the person down at the OK corral....at high noon...what is the fucking rush....??
So when we combine, these factors, yogi really did hit a homerun when we said it was impossible to get a conversation started when everyone was talking.....If it helps...the next time you have a conversation.....just imagine you have your eraser with you and not your baseball bat.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Oil.....coming to a beach near you..!!
Good morning...well... the gulf is filling with oil...the damage for which may last for years to come....according to one report...the entire fiasco could have been prevented..at a cost of approximately 500k....but..when you cut corners to save a little money..well u know the routine...so now...the world must pay for this mess....financially and ecologically....
Louisiana?...haven't they had enough problems?....Florida?...omg...how many thousands of miles of beach may be affected...the Fishing industry?...we dont even know the affect....
This disaster is just another example of how we are coming apart at the seams..as a nation and as a world...Who sits on these boards of directors of these oil giants?..
Surely 500k..has got to be chump change?..or am i missing something?
Rand Paul..or is it Ru Paul?...I get confused...he calls it "un-american?"...no.... it's not!!..it's very american...We are the ones who relaxed the standards... so that the Oil Giants like BP and their consortiums.. can mine for oil and gas in waters near our Country...which lead to these disasters....
Risky business, like oil and gas exploration, requires extreme safety standards..not less..no different than the sale of risky real estate derivitives...should require extreme scrutiny on Wall Street. Pimps on the street..pimps at the pump...they got us coming and going....
I am hopeful we can cap this problem as soon as possible..rayray
Louisiana?...haven't they had enough problems?....Florida?...omg...how many thousands of miles of beach may be affected...the Fishing industry?...we dont even know the affect....
This disaster is just another example of how we are coming apart at the seams..as a nation and as a world...Who sits on these boards of directors of these oil giants?..
Surely 500k..has got to be chump change?..or am i missing something?
Rand Paul..or is it Ru Paul?...I get confused...he calls it "un-american?"...no.... it's not!!..it's very american...We are the ones who relaxed the standards... so that the Oil Giants like BP and their consortiums.. can mine for oil and gas in waters near our Country...which lead to these disasters....
Risky business, like oil and gas exploration, requires extreme safety standards..not less..no different than the sale of risky real estate derivitives...should require extreme scrutiny on Wall Street. Pimps on the street..pimps at the pump...they got us coming and going....
I am hopeful we can cap this problem as soon as possible..rayray
Friday, May 21, 2010
"The Heartland vs Hollywood"
Well, this is a little dated, considering that the Lakers are now enjoying a 2 game lead in the Western Conference championship series against the Phoenix suns..however, a few weeks ago ..I did witness some magic in OKC..and wrote something about it ...I tried to get this posted in the Oklahoman, but the process didn't work...and even so ..it would have limited me to 250 words..but here it is
rayray
Last night I felt like I was watching a Disney fairy tale of sorts...or at
least...that’s what it felt like...All of the sudden the scene was not out of
a Disney movie...but in Downtown Oklahoma City, watching the OKC
Thunder dismantle the Los Angeles Lakers, to even the series at 2 games
a piece, in their best of 7, first round of the NBA western conference
playoffs......Hollywood...had to finally take notice of the Heartland....
Having lived in Dallas, for a few years from 2001-2007, I came to learn
a little about that area of the country, and traveled to OKC...several
times...I didn’t know much about the city, short of the tragedy 15 years
ago, that forever shaped their collective memories.. and... ours too
From an outsiders point of view, it seemed to me.... that OKC always
played 2nd fiddle to The Big D...
Yes... I had heard of Norman, Oklahoma, the home of the Sooners, and
the pride of all Oklahomans..
For as long as I can remember sports history.....that area has been
associated with being a college town, OU, not ever a Pro town...
That started to change after the city, temporarily housed the New Orleans
Hornets, after Hurricane Katrina.... and permanently welcomed the
Seattle Supersonics, who later became the OKC Thunder.
In many ways the Heartland and the values it embraces... has always
played 2nd fiddle to the glitz, glitter and falsetto world of
Hollywood...and anywhere... where there is no real meat on the bone....
Remember this was the backdrop for Steinbeck’s.... “The grapes of
wrath”, retelling the story of the famed dust bowl time of Oklahoman
history...or Gordon McRae’s lead role in the classic heartland film
musical...
In many ways, smaller market Cities, like OKC, and the sports teams
they house...... provides an uncanny ability of equalizing the playing
field...unifying a community....and in many ways.... unifying us all... as
a country....when we see triumph come out of tragedy, resurrecting the
spirit.....and above all, show us that we can come back even
stronger...like Jedi Knights..
It gave me such a sense of exhilaration, to see the Heartland collectively
collide with Hollywood and come out on top..
This town and its people has emerged from tragedy, rebuilt itself, and
has become a testament to the human spirit...and what it really means to
be forgiving.. We hurt for you, and we healed along with you...and now
we rejoice together... in this very special moment. Not only in Sports,
but in World history....
When all is said and done, you couldn’t write a better Hollywood
script.....one that many Oklahomans will love to retell..... and.. it
starts......
“Once upon a time, there was Thunder...” and God said.... “they played
real good...”
rayray
Last night I felt like I was watching a Disney fairy tale of sorts...or at
least...that’s what it felt like...All of the sudden the scene was not out of
a Disney movie...but in Downtown Oklahoma City, watching the OKC
Thunder dismantle the Los Angeles Lakers, to even the series at 2 games
a piece, in their best of 7, first round of the NBA western conference
playoffs......Hollywood...had to finally take notice of the Heartland....
Having lived in Dallas, for a few years from 2001-2007, I came to learn
a little about that area of the country, and traveled to OKC...several
times...I didn’t know much about the city, short of the tragedy 15 years
ago, that forever shaped their collective memories.. and... ours too
From an outsiders point of view, it seemed to me.... that OKC always
played 2nd fiddle to The Big D...
Yes... I had heard of Norman, Oklahoma, the home of the Sooners, and
the pride of all Oklahomans..
For as long as I can remember sports history.....that area has been
associated with being a college town, OU, not ever a Pro town...
That started to change after the city, temporarily housed the New Orleans
Hornets, after Hurricane Katrina.... and permanently welcomed the
Seattle Supersonics, who later became the OKC Thunder.
In many ways the Heartland and the values it embraces... has always
played 2nd fiddle to the glitz, glitter and falsetto world of
Hollywood...and anywhere... where there is no real meat on the bone....
Remember this was the backdrop for Steinbeck’s.... “The grapes of
wrath”, retelling the story of the famed dust bowl time of Oklahoman
history...or Gordon McRae’s lead role in the classic heartland film
musical...
In many ways, smaller market Cities, like OKC, and the sports teams
they house...... provides an uncanny ability of equalizing the playing
field...unifying a community....and in many ways.... unifying us all... as
a country....when we see triumph come out of tragedy, resurrecting the
spirit.....and above all, show us that we can come back even
stronger...like Jedi Knights..
It gave me such a sense of exhilaration, to see the Heartland collectively
collide with Hollywood and come out on top..
This town and its people has emerged from tragedy, rebuilt itself, and
has become a testament to the human spirit...and what it really means to
be forgiving.. We hurt for you, and we healed along with you...and now
we rejoice together... in this very special moment. Not only in Sports,
but in World history....
When all is said and done, you couldn’t write a better Hollywood
script.....one that many Oklahomans will love to retell..... and.. it
starts......
“Once upon a time, there was Thunder...” and God said.... “they played
real good...”
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Building from the inside out
4/8/10
Building from the inside out
The economic recovery... which led us out of the Great
Depression, which began with the Stock market crash of
1929...was built upon job creation from the New Deal...We put
our citizens to work... We built our country up... from the inside
out....sewers, roads, bridges, tunnels. We built our great
cities.....we connected the country...one mile at a time.
Certainly preparing for the 2nd war in Europe and Asia... also
galvanized our hard industries and harvested the best of our natural
resources ...we built or converted our factories to aid the massive
War effort...We also unlocked the secret of the Atom...giving birth
to the nuclear age...by the end of WWII in 1945... the United
States entered into the greatest economic growth period in our
history.
With a world win under our collective belts... and an arrogant
attitude to go along with it... we could do no wrong...We produced
everything...and... in so many industries... All of this was done...
within our own borders... with our own hands. It was a financial
bonanza that spread across the country and was very evenly
distributed... in fact.....a new term was created... the middle class.
Even though...while we, as Americans, only represented 6% of
the World population, we produced 50% of the goods in the
world. That is a staggering statistic...Wielding this much
economic clout made us quite powerful...and
wealthy...Corporations grew large...people invested in America.
Our government and military and any industry related to
it...became very eager ....to stay very strong... and stay well ahead
militarily.... of any potential adversary...
We had all the “hard industries” one could imagine ..... From
steel to steel wool... cars to carousels...Just like an erector set... we
constructed our way into prosperity. It was all homegrown...our
agriculture and natural resources, were all focused and balanced.
Times were good, families grew... Cities grew, housing was
affordable. The automobile industry was healthy...Made in the
USA...was a symbol of excellence... and...meant
something....people had jobs....education...once a dream for many
immigrant families became mainstream and economically
feasible... Life was good and improving for many Americans.
The space race was on....technology was underway...our defense
was building and we “Were the Champions of the world”
We reached 1960 with a new young president ... JFK...we referred
to this period as....Camelot... likened to the beautiful, yet
somewhat fictional realm of King Arthur and his court. Jackie
was the Queen. John John, as they called JFK jr.. and Caroline
were america’s first children..
Fast forward like a flash to 2010.
In just a few generations....50 years....we have somehow,
squandered what got us there..... and... in so many ways... we
have come apart at the seams...
Have we become so intoxicated by our arrogance and success that
we have been blinded to the following realities of where we are as
a country in 2010?
How about a 50 year report card?
Our steel industry .... gone
Automobile industry ..... gone
Computer hardware... gone overseas
Road, bridges and tunnels and cities..... deteriorating
Factories and manufacturing facilities.... all overseas...
Home values... depressed
Foreclosures and repossessions..... exploding
Middle class.... evaporating rapidly
Unemployment--- 20 million and going up
Poverty ... widespread and increasing
Political and religious tolerance....... strained and divided
Teachers- being reduced in number
Government Debt........... beyond comprehension
State Governments............ financially failing
We have virtually... let deteriorate.... all the basics that made
us strong and have forsaken the people who got us there...
In exchange, we somehow have inverted the triangle so that those
at the very top have benefitted greatly...that being the major banks,
and defense industries and large corporations with dominant
special interests from our Government.
.... Including control of the Media...resulting in widespread
confusion for many Americans.
Those at the top are cleaning up.... while the people at the base
of the triangle are being left to wither and die....the rich get
richer and the poor get poorer... and its tough kanoogies...
Of course... to the powers that be..... Their delusion...is that they
believe that continuing of this path will bring us back to
prosperity.... It won’t...It can’t....They know this ...They want a
status quo at all cost... even as we bankrupt ourselves into oblivion
and we burst apart at the seams...
We can not possibly survive this unless we commit to rebuilding
ourselves from the inside out. That effort must be built around
job creation and bringing hard industry back to our shores.
Every able bodied person can be put to work to rebuild the
infrastructures required... sewers, roads, bridges, tunnel, water,
cities.....
We must recommit to retraining the trades and providing jobs for
all student coming out of schools...
Teachers and teaching as a profession must be refocused and
supported, otherwise our great colleges and universities will
become ghost towns except to the rich and privileged, who are in
no danger anyway...endowments will continue to deteriorate...
Jobs and rebuilding the infrastructures of our country must
become our #1 priority.. Our resources must be reallocated away
from areas of dominance...such as: futuristic defensive strategies
and war efforts and space exploration and be re-directed towards
people, cities and states....
Manufacturing within our shores must become a priority, those
industries which can be revived must be supported along with
international trade laws swinging back to us.... instead of the other
way around... its time for the boomerang to return....
A strong financial America will always be good for the world. It
always has and always will be...
We already have the technology and nuclear know how to
annihilate populations and destroy our adversaries... Why push 50
years forward in advanced warfare strategies? Or spend billions on
regional ground conflicts....that do not work to beget peace.
Unless critical decisions are made, which are dedicated to
rebuilding the central core of our country from the inside out,
which create jobs for its citizens...we may suffer the same fate as
the Roman Empire... who.....in their quest to dominate the world...
Came apart at the seams from the inside out...and never
recovered...
Building from the inside out
The economic recovery... which led us out of the Great
Depression, which began with the Stock market crash of
1929...was built upon job creation from the New Deal...We put
our citizens to work... We built our country up... from the inside
out....sewers, roads, bridges, tunnels. We built our great
cities.....we connected the country...one mile at a time.
Certainly preparing for the 2nd war in Europe and Asia... also
galvanized our hard industries and harvested the best of our natural
resources ...we built or converted our factories to aid the massive
War effort...We also unlocked the secret of the Atom...giving birth
to the nuclear age...by the end of WWII in 1945... the United
States entered into the greatest economic growth period in our
history.
With a world win under our collective belts... and an arrogant
attitude to go along with it... we could do no wrong...We produced
everything...and... in so many industries... All of this was done...
within our own borders... with our own hands. It was a financial
bonanza that spread across the country and was very evenly
distributed... in fact.....a new term was created... the middle class.
Even though...while we, as Americans, only represented 6% of
the World population, we produced 50% of the goods in the
world. That is a staggering statistic...Wielding this much
economic clout made us quite powerful...and
wealthy...Corporations grew large...people invested in America.
Our government and military and any industry related to
it...became very eager ....to stay very strong... and stay well ahead
militarily.... of any potential adversary...
We had all the “hard industries” one could imagine ..... From
steel to steel wool... cars to carousels...Just like an erector set... we
constructed our way into prosperity. It was all homegrown...our
agriculture and natural resources, were all focused and balanced.
Times were good, families grew... Cities grew, housing was
affordable. The automobile industry was healthy...Made in the
USA...was a symbol of excellence... and...meant
something....people had jobs....education...once a dream for many
immigrant families became mainstream and economically
feasible... Life was good and improving for many Americans.
The space race was on....technology was underway...our defense
was building and we “Were the Champions of the world”
We reached 1960 with a new young president ... JFK...we referred
to this period as....Camelot... likened to the beautiful, yet
somewhat fictional realm of King Arthur and his court. Jackie
was the Queen. John John, as they called JFK jr.. and Caroline
were america’s first children..
Fast forward like a flash to 2010.
In just a few generations....50 years....we have somehow,
squandered what got us there..... and... in so many ways... we
have come apart at the seams...
Have we become so intoxicated by our arrogance and success that
we have been blinded to the following realities of where we are as
a country in 2010?
How about a 50 year report card?
Our steel industry .... gone
Automobile industry ..... gone
Computer hardware... gone overseas
Road, bridges and tunnels and cities..... deteriorating
Factories and manufacturing facilities.... all overseas...
Home values... depressed
Foreclosures and repossessions..... exploding
Middle class.... evaporating rapidly
Unemployment--- 20 million and going up
Poverty ... widespread and increasing
Political and religious tolerance....... strained and divided
Teachers- being reduced in number
Government Debt........... beyond comprehension
State Governments............ financially failing
We have virtually... let deteriorate.... all the basics that made
us strong and have forsaken the people who got us there...
In exchange, we somehow have inverted the triangle so that those
at the very top have benefitted greatly...that being the major banks,
and defense industries and large corporations with dominant
special interests from our Government.
.... Including control of the Media...resulting in widespread
confusion for many Americans.
Those at the top are cleaning up.... while the people at the base
of the triangle are being left to wither and die....the rich get
richer and the poor get poorer... and its tough kanoogies...
Of course... to the powers that be..... Their delusion...is that they
believe that continuing of this path will bring us back to
prosperity.... It won’t...It can’t....They know this ...They want a
status quo at all cost... even as we bankrupt ourselves into oblivion
and we burst apart at the seams...
We can not possibly survive this unless we commit to rebuilding
ourselves from the inside out. That effort must be built around
job creation and bringing hard industry back to our shores.
Every able bodied person can be put to work to rebuild the
infrastructures required... sewers, roads, bridges, tunnel, water,
cities.....
We must recommit to retraining the trades and providing jobs for
all student coming out of schools...
Teachers and teaching as a profession must be refocused and
supported, otherwise our great colleges and universities will
become ghost towns except to the rich and privileged, who are in
no danger anyway...endowments will continue to deteriorate...
Jobs and rebuilding the infrastructures of our country must
become our #1 priority.. Our resources must be reallocated away
from areas of dominance...such as: futuristic defensive strategies
and war efforts and space exploration and be re-directed towards
people, cities and states....
Manufacturing within our shores must become a priority, those
industries which can be revived must be supported along with
international trade laws swinging back to us.... instead of the other
way around... its time for the boomerang to return....
A strong financial America will always be good for the world. It
always has and always will be...
We already have the technology and nuclear know how to
annihilate populations and destroy our adversaries... Why push 50
years forward in advanced warfare strategies? Or spend billions on
regional ground conflicts....that do not work to beget peace.
Unless critical decisions are made, which are dedicated to
rebuilding the central core of our country from the inside out,
which create jobs for its citizens...we may suffer the same fate as
the Roman Empire... who.....in their quest to dominate the world...
Came apart at the seams from the inside out...and never
recovered...
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