"Ah Ha" moments

During these past few days on "Facebook"..I've noticed many of my rediscovered friends have become grandparents..or will shortly... so a month ago or so ago I wrote a piece which may ring true ....enjoy the ride...


One of the more gratifying moments I think we all have in life... are... what I refer to ...as .. “Ah ha!!” moments....
So... I started to wonder.... first about ...what it is...and then ...what is it about an... “ah ha” moment..... that separates it from other moments which...while inspiring to us in other ways.... don’t seem to rise up to that level..... one which resonates so deeply within us.... that it can literally stop us in our tracks...and give us such clarity ... that it’s indescribable.....
They seem to come to us at different points in our life... and... when they do become apparent, it always takes us by surprise, since it was never planned....a rare moment...where.... all of a sudden something makes sense, it seems to make things fit together....and while we look at it...and think we knew it all along...its just never really fit the same....some describe this as an epiphany or a revelation..
“epiphany”..... From... Greek/Latin/Anglo Saxon... “To show itself”... and... revelation.... from Anglo/English/ French... “To reveal”....

While the definitions are varied...they all point to a... sudden realization of a larger meaning of something.... that a greater reality has been revealed to us ...some describe this as a... magical moment.

They are unpredictable...and the spacing of these moments, somehow, are mysteriously built in to the fabric of what we are as humans... We can’t anticipate when they will occur nor can we think our way into having them happen...it can not be forced nor made to happen because you believe it will...

But I have noticed that... as we grow.... they generally come to us in moments when we are wide open and are able to let go of beliefs we once may have thought....
“Ah-ha!” moments are meant to free us from ourselves... free us from the beliefs we have held and embraced for a long time...which have helped us cope with life.

The exhilaration/shock we feel when this happens... in that momentary extraordinary discovery we experience....are evidence that we have freed ourselves from the bondage of the beliefs we once held ...that we are no longer captors and a new, forever changed, self has emerged... with a much higher level of understanding.

Normally... “Ah- ha” moments.... have little to do...with neither... material things we acquire nor the success we achieve...but point us in a direction of understanding our true purpose and where we fit in a larger scheme of things. They are life connectors....connecting the dots.

I had such a moment, yesterday, when my family.... or a good part of it met for a dinner... at my mother’s home....to celebrate my brother and my nieces visiting from out of town..... all of us being together...and my son’s imminent move in April... to Colorado...

My mother... had prepared for my son, an incredible family photo album to take with him on his journey.
as we... the three of us.... me, my son, and my mother ....3 generations... ages 27, 57, 87 ... thumbed through the pages...My son turned to me and said... “Look at you...dad...you were so young”... at that very moment I was viewing a picture of my mother...and thinking silently.... “Look a you mom...you were so young”... perhaps she was looking at her own mother too...and thinking the same?

It was a sudden overwhelming magical moment... when the child sees the parent as a child and in that instant... all the pain, and sorrow and joy that happened in our family.... just melted away into forgiveness and a realization that life is a connected circle.... and that we have an indelible purpose for each other...
To be open wide, love that we just are, and not be a slave to our harmful selfish thoughts that divide us, but to recognize and find ways that will bind us...with glue so strong that nothing can possibly break that bond...

They hit the beach.....for us..

If you are into 6's and history... Today is a banner day!!..Today is June 6th..6/6...and it was 66 years ago today..that the Allied forces landed on Normandy Beach in the North of France.. to begin the invasion ....which ultimately liberated Europe and the World at large...in WWII..

Just so it doesn't go unmentioned, I want to recognize those brave souls that gave up their lives on that fateful day...while most of them would probably have preferred a day of sun and fun at the beach, with.... family, friends and a cold beer....duty beyond life was put before them..and they chose to forge forward and pay the ultimate price..

We talk about the rubber hitting the road.......for them... it was where the ocean met the land.....so tonite ..I plan on going to the beach ... feel the unending motion of the sea...and privately thank those courageous soldiers...peace..rayray

"The Brain is a terrible thing to download"

48 hour ago.... I joined “Facebook”....anyone who reads this has obviously had their first 48 hour initiation... already ...so this is really old hat to you..... I am certain that anything I say has already been said before....about.... that unique first 48 hours...and what it’s like....
....so indulge me for a moment...with my own initial impressions...and although they are mine ...they are also yours too....

Nobody prepared me...or told me what to expect....no one told me what would happen.....so...I registered, sat back and wondered.....What is going to happen here?

Within minutes my brain started to download...people, places, and things started to emerge...pictures unseen, perspectives never imagined.
Details so fine...and with HDTV clarity.....I was awed with the depth of my own recollections....Where had they been?....Why have these details remained so deeply disguised, put away...in a place we didn’t even know existed?...the storage unit for these minute details in our connected lives were being revealed with speed and accuracy and wonder.... and with help...all of you...perhaps for the first time...we have the collective perspectives to make sense of this....

I realized that all of us have played a part... of what we are as a whole..
We can’t always see the meaning of things while they happen...and these 48 hours reminded me that...it’s less a matter of time passing...as much as meaning being revealed.....
We are indelibly etched into each other...and the extent of which is never really known...and neither is the impact of continued influence between all of us...which probably will continue to make this experience so rich...

I feel like the new kid on the block who just has to lay back and first learn the do’s and don’ts....however...I have always been a quick study.....and I am pleased to tell you that the first download has been successful...rayray

"Cyber Friend"

Divorce and broken relationships have put a ton of people, of all ages, back into the world of dating..When you combine this.... with the speed of life in general..and the obsessive use of the internet..it's no wonder that Dating sites and chat rooms... have become a dominant force in meeting others...interestingly... connections are being made....and in some cases..you may get to know someone virtually.... without ever meeting..so I wrote this poem....in honor of this phenomenon.

To my unseen friend

In the Cyber age or so it seems,
A new kind of friend has been born
Made of fonts and dreams

We probe each other
Through written words
Maybe a photo
But a voice not heard

We struggle to phrase the thought just right
Perhaps they will understand our sight

Can we connect?
Without seeing the face
Or the scent of hair
Or the body shape

Without the phone
Without the date
Never seen….seal our fate?

But there is hope
In all of this
You can find it in red icon lips
A pretty rose and a smiley face
Because you give me words of grace

Where thoughts are soft
and sculpted smooth
a loving hand
That aims to soothe

So I say to you my unseen friend
Thank you.. and if you can comprehend
That I can love you
Just like this
And let’s seal it with an Icon KISS


Written by rayray... 8/30/09

"Patience"

This morning I witnessed a woman on line at the post office,
getting frustrated.... that... as she got to the front of the line, one of
postal clerks was about to take his 15 minute break. She was quite
perturbed...Why couldn’t he just delay his break?... after all,
she had waited....she was next...and... She wanted to be served. She
was also ranting about the automated self serve device which
would not function, as she wanted it too... so... she got stuck having
to get on line in the first place....she was not happy...and... she was
trying to make everybody else unhappy along with her.... the lines
on her face were straining.... “How dare he take his break now?”
The other 2 clerks watched, spoke and were unmoved, calm and
were quite professional....and... Their energy prevailed....and...she
waited.....
I, of course, was next in line behind her...yet... it would probably
never occur to her how selfish she was being... because... it
would have been perfectly fine, in her mind, unconsciously, to
have the clerk take his break, when I reached the top of the
line.......so it could be pinned on me, instead of her...and
incidentally.... there were people behind me....and more people
pulling into the parking lot....and so on and so forth..
People without patience generally don’t understand what patience
is...it can be very confusing.
Patience has nothing to do with waiting...nor time, but
it is an understanding... that there is a order of things which always
has connectivity to others simultaneously...... it’s about blending in
to a natural flow......awaiting your turn...so to say ...letting it
happen...
Much like what happens, on the entrance ramp... when you merge
your car onto the interstate....that lane is long and it is there... to
help you blend into traffic...get up to speed....your actions are
independent, yet are not isolated and what we do is always
connected to others...as we accommodate, so to do others
accommodate us....we are but one connector in a circulation of
events on such a grand scale.. That we can hardly imagine.....
There is no question that collisions in life will always occur,
because of the proximity to others around us....and the individual
level of stress....we feel...just like the women on line...perhaps she
was an extreme example...
A more common example of impatience occurs in everyday
conversations...where people overbear in conversations never
allowing for the other person, or persons, when in a group
conversation, to have their say...
When we become internally aware of this natural flow,
conversations take on such greater value... the inclusion of others
into the natural cycle in a conversation... is far more
meaningful to them than even the content of the ideas they
were trying to convey...It is the openness to inclusion... that unifies and connects us.
Inclusion recognizes that we all are of equal value as
humans.....when the opposite occurs...we dispel each other... as no
greater.... than animals in the pasture.
Patience.... teaches us... to include others.....where impatience
teaches us the opposite....

Duke wins Division I Lacrosse Championship

Duke, the name synonomous with College Basketball and Coach K, won their first Lacrosse national championship, yesterday, 6-5 in sudden death overtime, in Baltimore...over Notre Dame.. the name synonomous with the Fighting Irish , Knute Rockne..and The Gipper, but not Ronald Reagan ..please....lol

It was a Battle of the Titans, but, interestingly... in a different sport ..

By most Lacrosse standards..while it was a defensive gem, it probably left the fans, who have become used to high scoring, high drama championships,..a little dissatisfied..however..it was a very close game..and will be remembered more as a first for Duke and marks the emergence of Notre Dame coming onto the Lacrosse landscape.

In recent years the sport has been dominated by Syracuse, Princeton, Johns Hopkins ,Virginia and North Carolina...

I'm speculating, that this victory, in Lacrosse circles, has opened the gates, so to say, to other programs outside of Western NY, Long Island and Baltimore...

Schools with successful programs.. like Notre Dame and Denver University, will help create other recruiting opportunities..and lure some of the eastern talent and coaches.... as interest in this old Native American game... expands furthur Mid-west and West...

Heaven help us..it's probably in California, as I type, as a beach game...But trust me on this..a surfer will never be as cool as a laxman/or woman..

Personally, I would like to extend Kudus to John Danowski, the coach of Duke University...I played Lacrosse against John in High School on Long Island... and in College, where he was a star at Rutgers University...It was great for me to see a Long Island Boy win one for us homies........rayray

"Out of the box"

Good morning..It's June 1st..Can u believe it..? it's like 2010 and a 1/2..on our way to 2011...Jan 1, 2011..will be 1/1/11 and it's just around the corner....well I hope this will be a good month for everyone..perhaps we can find a solution to the oil spill..

I am writing a book, which i started about 6 months ago...and I thought it would be fun to put out an excerpt...the book has no real rhyme or reason at this point..just like the blog..it morphs and wiggles, without any real direction...which is how I intended it anyway...lol...none of this is in a finished form,of course....it's just an expression of my experiences in life and recording them in a more permanent way..even if it's grammatically undesirable...

so here it is...from my book titled..."If I were blind".....

I was a late bloomer. When a woman tells me that she lost their virginity at a young age, I realize that I missed the boat or grew up in the wrong town.
The rules and beliefs that surround the mating game are such a mystery to me and I think, as a result, I am very curious about understanding it better. Especially, now, at 57, where there are a spate of eligible single women everywhere.

Someone once said to me, that men are one step above apes…and I replied. “Really?...That much?”

Nonetheless, women are one of my favorite subjects. I was married for over 25 years, so my experience dating, since I was married fairly young, didn’t begin to happen to me until after the marriage was history. However, my love for women was always there.
I love women, always have, always will. I am fascinated first and foremost from a sexual level.

Chemistry is to relationships, as location is to Real Estate.
It's....Chemistry, Chemistry, Chemistry….. But I like to call a spade a spade. Chemistry for me means only 1 thing initially, anyway. Chemistry means sexual chemistry. Call it nature or instinctual.. Call it what you like…For me , it is that immediate microsecond in time when I make a yes or no assessment…..… do I find her sexually attractive or not?… do I want to fuck her or not?… that’s the chemical reaction that’s triggered in me when initially meeting another woman.
For a female, and of course I am speculating now, I think that similar thinking is going on. But, I believe that it rapidly escalates into other areas of assessment, unlike males who stay fixated on sex. … In the next few seconds, or in just a few seconds, I believe that the female brain is already deciding and judging whether you fit. I believe that this process is happening that fast. At amazing speed. Her brain is analyzing this input faster than a computer chip.

Inspector Clouseau would be no match….Clothing, voice, smell, height, weight, wealth clues, Education, sexual capability. Instantly being assessed…Either you start to fit in the box or you don’t.

So I began to wonder about this box. Do I fit in it or don’t I?
So, what is the box? We all have heard about this box, haven’t we?

During the 90’s, or sometime close, the world was introduced to a popular and re-sculpted concept. It was called “thinking outside the box”. I think it may have had it origins, based on a visual puzzle of sorts, which demonstrated the concept. As I recall, and if I can find it, I will, include it in this writing. (the final version)

The puzzle required one continuous stroke without lifting the pencil and connecting a series of dots to form an object...and, the only solution, came from connecting the dots in an unfamiliar way.... outside of the normal shape..
Thus, the only way to solve the problem was to expand your mind to include possibilities, which reside outside of the box.

So this concept became popularized, got expanded, and spread like wildfire, especially on Wall Street. If you aspired to a Fortune 500 business career, this was the special talent; you needed to possess, in order to hasten your steps up the ladder of success. I can just hear it now in an interview…. Mr./Ms.. So and So…I am able to “think outside of the box”. Aren’t I wonderful?

Madison Avenue, visualized it very well and just like the “Where’s the beef? Campaign...from the 70’s they took note of the box too in the 90’s..... I think it is Taco Bell who came up with the slogan.. “Think outside the bun”

And like so many other great motivational concepts, they can, over time, get trivialized by Wall Street and/or Madison Avenue. So, unfortunately the true meaning can get lost in the shuffle.

But as a pure concept, expansive thinking, call it, out of the box thinking, is an awesome concept which can be very liberating. Some people are able to live their life in a very expansive way mentally and emotionally, and physically... to be able to break free from the ingrained shackles, that have kept many of us safe, but unhappy…and in some cases, miserable….I marvel that some people are able to look at different possibilities of things. They then, can make their decisions accordingly.
So... back to woman and dating and that instantaneous assessment which is going on… …. in my experience... I believe that the concept of thinking outside the box goes against the sexuality grain.They would literally have to take a step back and reevaluate their assessment.
And.... that’s very hard to do, because it gets to the root of a belief system which has evolved over thousands of years and been impressed on the female brain and drilled down over the course of time.. These assessments.... may in fact be operating on deep and pre programmed unconscious levels.

They are assessing whether or not you fit “in the box”. They want you in the box, not out. It’s safe for them… they will only let you in... if they believe that you are in the box. That you fit....that they could emotionally accept you. There is so much going on...so quickly..... that... it’s almost out of anyone’s control.
So the door to new possible relationships gets open or shut that quickly.... without even knowing why....